The Truth about Being an Older Mom
Whether you’ve waited for the perfect mate to have a baby or wanted to be financially secure and established in your career, having a baby past age 35 has some pretty sweet benefits for you and your new addition. Everyone likes to talk about the scary parts of being an older mom – this time, let’s talk about the good stuff:
Love Plus a Dividend
You took your time and found the right life partner that will not only be your lover for a lifetime, but someone who shares your values for raising a child.
A new baby can be stressful on a young marriage or relationship, but the relationship with your partner has matured with having spent years of quality time with just the two of you. As a couple, you’re in a good place to bring a baby into your world.
You won’t have any resentment or regrets about not getting to sow your wild oats. Waiting to become pregnant has allowed you time to have plenty of getaways with the girls in wine country, spontaneous weekend trips, and camping out at music festivals.
The life experience you’ve accumulated has given you wisdom and maturity, which a lot of moms in their 20’s don’t have. This will serve as a guide to help you make smart decisions as a parent.
You are psychologically ready for your life to be turned upside down when a child enters the picture.
You don’t sweat the small stuff as much and are more flexible. You know how to choose your battles wisely, thinking about the bigger picture.
You were able to pursue higher education with post bachelor degrees and did it without juggling work, a new baby, and home life.
An established career may make being a working mom less stressful. You’ve made great accomplishments in the last 10+ years of your career and that may give you more bargaining power to dictate your hours or gain flexibility for work-from-home hours.
Cha Ching! It Pays to Wait
Kids deplete your cash reserves quickly, but since you’ve paid off your student loans and credit card debt, you’re in a good place to provide for your child’s future.
You’ve climbed the corporate ladder or blazed your own trail and have a steady income and job security with a nest egg for retirement and stock options.
Kids outgrow clothes quickly before they get worn and tattered. You’re likely to have friends, relatives, and neighbors who are chomping at the bits to give you hand-me-downs.
Baby gear is pricey and usually stays in good shape because things like swings, saucers, and monitors aren’t used very long. Your friends with older kids will happily pass them on or sell them to you cheap.
Your career earnings have allowed you to move from a small residence to a house that is ready for a family.
The grandparents are probably at retirement age and anxiously waiting to dole out affection and spend time with your baby, which can help with childcare costs.
Because you planned to have children later in life, instead of a possible unplanned pregnancy, your kids will probably be closer together and a have a closer relationship.
You know more peers, friends, and family who are veteran parents that you can rely on for good advice.
You’re not as self-absorbed as you were in your twenties so you are more than ready to put the needs of your baby first.
Other couples who have waited to have children will be your closest friends for years to come. You’ll share experiences like birthday parties, vacations, dance recitals, and soccer camps together.
Your child will keep you younger – at least when it comes to music, fashion trends, lingo, and technology—than if your child was already grown and out of the house.
Of course, you can’t have it all (but looking at the list above, you can come pretty close!). Here are the common cons of having kids at a later age:
Advanced Maternal Age (That’s What Your Doctor Calls It… )
You’re going to be old when your child is young.
You may miss many things that younger parents get to see and maybe even take for granted, like seeing your child get married or having children of their own. Or you may just be elderly when these events occur and not be able to enjoy them as much.
Your child could lose you or your partner at a younger age than younger parents.
You could hit menopause simultaneously while your child hits puberty. Thankfully, you have that extra patience for your tween and the financial resources for a massage for yourself!
With your aging parents, you could be overseeing their daily care along with your child’s care.
As each year goes by, your stamina and energy levels will decline. Caring for a newborn means sleep deprivation and it may hit you much harder than a mom in her twenties but don’t worry, that phase doesn’t last too long. Another issue you may feel your age is when your child is old enough to play sports, it could be difficult to help them hone their skills, like playing catch or kicking a soccer ball than when you were in your thirties.
A slower metabolism hits every women as she ages so it could take longer to shed the baby weight.
People may think you’re grandparents not parents.
Every parent considers the possibility of old age and being a burden on their children but as older parents, this may occur earlier for your child than her peers.
Social Slow Down
Your friends may have kids that are older, so planning joint family activities can be an issue with the children’s ages being vastly different.
While you’re bringing your baby home for the first time, your friends are sending their kids off to school, so it can be more difficult to find mom friends. Friends you already have in your age group may not be interested in reliving the baby stage, so you may find it difficult to do things together with your baby.
Tags : relationships older moms
What are some things you love (and don’t love so much) about being an older mom? Share your thoughts with us!